Catechism

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Dagobert

Came across this odd article on the internet, about eccentric anthropologist Dagobert Steinitz.
After several years of gaining the trust and respect of the Nanahsnug, the tribal elders took Steinitz high into the mountains and allowed him to participate in a ritual called "The Seeing." After consuming the juice of a native vine, the name of which translates roughly to "One True Eye," the Professor was supposedly taken to meet the tribesmen's "Sun-God." For Steinitz, it was a life-changing experience, and it was shortly thereafter that he began to formulate his "Unified Theory of Homo superus."

Steinitz believed that a separate species of advanced hominid walked stealthily among us, and it was these superior beings who were responsible for many of the world's great unexplained mysteries. He presented his theory at a 1968 conference, displaying a skull which he claimed belonged to one of the creatures. He also declared that he had made contact with one of the creatures, who showed him how to tap into his own powers of clairvoyance.

You can probably guess how well this theory went over with Steinitz' tweed-coated university peers. His ideas were dismissed as comic-book fantasy, and his university, now synonymous with new-age quackery, became a punch line in several stand-up comedy acts.

This entire story is whacky. I don't know how serious this article is, but the story is one of those that bemuse me on occasion (like vampiric goats in South America, or the flying monkeys in India).

This weird tale is made more interesting by three mysterious urns, hidden by Steinitz after he went mad, which could only be found through solving a series of cryptic clues. The first urn contained $1 million and apparently was found earlier this year.

Dagobert's "alien astronaught" theory of human evolution does not do him much credit, but it's an entertaining read.

1 Comments:

  • At December 09, 2004 9:29 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh Alex purrlease. The whole thing is a made up joke... no such person, nor university mentioned, not tribe exists.

     

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